Lingering Texters

Ever found yourself texting a boy (or him texting you), for no apparent reason? Maybe even your ex-boyfriend, someone you don't really like, or hooked up with once, or says nice things to you, or maybe it's just fun! But then why do you get angry when you see him out with other girls? Do you find yourself caring too much and even think it's stupid yourself?

That's texting for ya.  For some reason texting can have this emotional pull that develops fake feelings and plays into our own secret desires for attention and affirmation.  When you find yourself in this situation, think, "Would we be speaking this much if we didn't have texting?" Imagine a world without texting. Would you try to meet up with him, would you enjoy spending time with him if he wasn't constantly giving you digital attention?

This also works for lingering ex-boyfriends.  Don't let your past relationships haunt you by allowing them to stay prevalent in your life through texting.  This distorts the reality - you broke up for a REASON! Texting is not real life.  The incompatibilities, fights, douchey-ness, and all else was why you broke up.

Resist the urge to text with no reason and you'll be happier, more in touch with your feelings, and developing more meaningful, genuine relationships!

How to avoid drunk texting

This is one of the best tips I have, especially because drunk texting can ruin pretty much everything and anything.  If there's someone you REALLY shouldn't text when you're drunk (ex boyfriend, a guy who was a jerk to you, even a best friend who you're in a fight with, YOUR MOM) follow these steps.


1. Write down their number on a piece of paper before you go out
2. Delete the number from your phone
3. Leave the paper in your dorm room when you head out for the night
4. Give any friends who have the number explicit instructions not to give it to you no matter how hard you beg - seriously.


This way, you still have the number for when you're sober and thinking rationally but you can't do some serious drunken damage.  This has saved me so many times, can't recommend it enough.

The Two-Day Rule

  

Scenario:

You're Beyoncé. You're sitting at the bar and all of the sudden Jay-Z seems to pop out of no where and has you laughing and impressing you the whole conversation.  Plus, you found out he's a multi-platinum recording artist too! Such a small world! You're totally obsessed and can't wait to talk to him again.

Problem: 

Despite your accomplishments and good looks, he doesn't text you -__- ... Jay-Z obviously doesn't know he just met the most beautiful woman in the world, or hasn't realized it yet.

Solution:

When you meet a guy and get the feeling there could definitely be something there, but he doesn't text you right away, always follow (what I like to call) the "two-day rule." While there's no reason a girl can't text the guy, you should give him some time to.  But, if he doesn't text you and you absolutely can't wait to speak to him and are DYING to hear from him, wait two days, see if you still feel the same way, and then reach out to him with something fun on the third day.  You could text him with a reference to an inside joke from that night or a funny coincidence related to something you talked about.  

For example, if you met him on Saturday, don't text until Tuesday (afternoon or evening, preferably).  Sometimes they just need a little nudge and confidence you felt the same way (without seeming obsessed). 

Embrace your inner Sasha Fierce and give it a shot!

He's just not that into you :/

I'm just gonna say it. If it seems like he’s not that into it, he’s not.  Girls have this habit of making up any and every excuse possible to explain why he didn’t text back or why he’s not asking to get lunch this week.  If he’s not acting like he’s into you then he just does not have strong feelings.  He might just be oblivious and a more relaxed with girls, but if he’s not making you feel wanted or is really unreliable with making plans then you don’t want him anyway. THE GOOD NEWS is that the sooner you recognize this rather than rationalizing his behavior, the sooner it becomes no big deal and you can move on to the next :)

The texting game. It's a real thing.

What you look like when responding...

    

...What he thinks you look like 

As much as I support being yourself in a relationship, sometimes ya gotta get crafty.  Especially at the beginning when you begin to text someone you have feelings for.  Here are some general guidelines for your first few conversations (conversations to just talk, i.e. "I'm texting Jordan right now," not to meet up, etc. where you might need to be more direct and responsive). Keep these tips in mind and you'll come off as a confident, funny, nice girl to hang out with without seeming like you're trying too hard.

Welcome to Sex and the Stacks!

 

In the college dating world there are no rules. As an in-between stage between high school flings and the formality of the “real” world, it’s easy to get frustrated and lost in your romantic life at school.  That’s where I come in.  With my best friends and sorority behind me, I’ll try to help make sense of this crazy time with inspiration from past and present experiences in the hookup scene and long-term relationships. 

What's the "morning after" protocol? 

How do I avoid fighting with my boyfriend while drunk? 

Does it mean something that I never go on dates? 

I’ll tackle these questions and more :) If you have a specific question please comment and I’ll respond as soon as possible!

Emily xo