If your guy is making you feel like this ^^ on the regular, it may be time to have a conversation about what's actually going on between you two. This is usually a conversation we, as girls, dread having to bring up. But - have no fear! Here are some guidelines for approaching the conversation and getting what you want out of it.
1. Gauge how long you have been together and the significance of your relationship. Have you been seeing him one month? Two months? The whole semester? Also, how long have you known him on top of that? You may ask yourself: How often do we hang out? How many of those hangouts are sober (whoops)? Does he always try to see me when he's out or do there seem to be specific times he does and does not want to see me? Keep in mind that sober, fun hangouts mean so much more than texting or any interactions you might have at a bar or something. Use your sober life to gauge your relationship, and always be realistic. All of these factors will help you analyze your relationship and some questions you might want to ask him if/when you talk to him.
2. Decide what YOU want! And be clear with that message when hanging out with him. As many of my guy friends have noted, girls in college don't always act in accordance with what they actually want. I myself am guilty of this. I was seeing a guy I liked but didn't want him to really know that or think I was clingy, so I would leave very early in the morning on weekends. Turns out this was weird to him and I shouldn't've been afraid of showing I cared a bit more. He was down to get breakfast, but I was simply afraid to put myself out there. Moral of the story: If you want him to be your boyfriend, act like it! If you don't, don't say sweet things to him or entertain it when he does to you. Being open and acting how you feel, not putting up a fake front, will be the best for both of you. This will also ensure that if/when you stop seeing him you both won't be awkward or resentful.
3. Be honest and communicative. If you are going to have a serious conversation about the nature of your relationship this is absolutely essential. Never underestimate the power of clear, open communication for getting what you want and making sure it's healthy!
4. Don't assume anything on his part. As I've mentioned before, girls in college love to rationalize their man's behavior and tend to live in their own reality rather than observing clues before them. Bottom line is - you don't know how he's feeling exactly, even if you think you do. Especially with guarded, confused college guys (ugh). Rather than saying, "I know you aren't looking for anything serious, but..."or "I know how busy you are with work..." say "Would you want something more serious now or not really?" ASK. You will always be surprised.
5. Don't focus on labels. Exclusive? Dating? "Hooking up"? Don't worry about it! For an initial conversation it's important to simply discuss your feelings and initial thoughts. If a label seems right, do it. However, these conversations are important no matter what the end result is label-wise.
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