Vacation Flings

I'm spending this whole summer interning in Costa Rica.  Check out my backyard!

In a place this beautiful, there are bound to be a ton of tourists.  What does that mean? Hot beach babes galore! The local men take advantage of this, and having been here for a week or two I can already offer a few pointers about how to deal with this.

1. Make it consistent! Why not? You're only there for a little while! Call or text him the day after you first meet.

2. Never underestimate the doucheyness of men.  Many of these guys have 1+ girlfriends a week that cycle in as tourists.  They may tell you they love you and act like it, but don't be convinced.

3. Be SAFE.  There are a few guys here that put things in tourists' drinks and take them home.  Don't let that happen to you! Don't be afraid to refuse getting in a car with a driver.  Don't take any drugs.  Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean the same rules don't apply.  You won't regret following them!

4. Don't let your man BE your vacation.  You probably came with friends and family, so that time should be spent building your relationship and memories with them.

5. Leave it at the airport.  When you go home, he's nothing more than a picture and a few drunken nights :)

Communicating with your crush over summer break

So you hooked up the last week(s) of school...now what?

The best way to handle communication during summer is to let him take the lead.  It's hard to know how much he would like to text/call/etc., so just give it some time and feel it out.  However, it's not bad to text him once or twice to see if he's into it and let him know you are, but if he doesn't take it from there then it's probably best to only talk once a month or whenever your paths collide (physically or digitally).

Best to not make anything awkward over the summer and act too interested if it turns out you guys don't have a great connection anymore in the fall.  Just see how it goes but in the summer less is usually more!

The Dreaded "What are we?" Conversation

If your guy is making you feel like this ^^ on the regular, it may be time to have a conversation about what's actually going on between you two.  This is usually a conversation we, as girls, dread having to bring up.  But - have no fear! Here are some guidelines for approaching the conversation and getting what you want out of it.

The Morning After - College Style

It's Sunday morning and you wake up in a guy's room you don't know all that well, or maybe even at all, and are scrambling to figure out what to do with yourself.  Here are a few tips to guide you through this excruciating situation you definitely didn't have in mind the night before:

1. Above all - be CONFIDENT.  The more cool, calm, and collected you seem about the situation, the more he will respect you and it won't be weird the next time you see him. Easier said than done, but if you can at least pretend you're confident (the, "What, I do this all the time!?" vibe), it'll go a long way for those awkward dining hall run-ins.

2. DON'T cuddle - it's weird.  Don't cuddle with someone unless you actually know them.

3. DON'T linger, but don't be obviously self-conscious about your lingering (5-10 minutes isn't lingering).

4. DON'T put his clothes on.

5. DON'T say things like "last night was fun"... awkward.

HAPPY SPRING BREAK!  Cheers to a break from the stress of school and finally a chance to relax.  Thanks to all of you who have visited and read my posts - hope they have helped! Remember to email me at sexandthestacks@gmail.com with personal inquiries or your own stories (bonus points to those of you with actual sex in the stacks stories!

What I should be doing for Spring Break:

What I'm actually doing:

#savingmoney #relaxing #noskincancer #justgonnakeepontellingmyselfthat

Lingering Texters

Ever found yourself texting a boy (or him texting you), for no apparent reason? Maybe even your ex-boyfriend, someone you don't really like, or hooked up with once, or says nice things to you, or maybe it's just fun! But then why do you get angry when you see him out with other girls? Do you find yourself caring too much and even think it's stupid yourself?

That's texting for ya.  For some reason texting can have this emotional pull that develops fake feelings and plays into our own secret desires for attention and affirmation.  When you find yourself in this situation, think, "Would we be speaking this much if we didn't have texting?" Imagine a world without texting. Would you try to meet up with him, would you enjoy spending time with him if he wasn't constantly giving you digital attention?

This also works for lingering ex-boyfriends.  Don't let your past relationships haunt you by allowing them to stay prevalent in your life through texting.  This distorts the reality - you broke up for a REASON! Texting is not real life.  The incompatibilities, fights, douchey-ness, and all else was why you broke up.

Resist the urge to text with no reason and you'll be happier, more in touch with your feelings, and developing more meaningful, genuine relationships!

Balancing Your Friends and Your Boyfriend

Before you know it, your boyfriend can become your entire world in college.  On the same campus, with similar classes, friend groups, etc., this can develop even if your relationship lacks the emotional connection to back it up.  The important thing is: NEVER forget your best friends for your boyfriend(s).  College boyfriends come and go, but your friends stay with you forever.  Here are a few easy ways to keep both sets of people in your life and have the best college experience you can: